Dearly Beloved in Messiah,

KIND

While prinking (praying and thinking) about God’s Word to us this month, I believe the Lord told me that November 2024, due to the contentious elections in the U.S., would be a month of substantial division, discord, animosity, and possibly chaos. As I write this in October, no one knows who our next president will be. Whoever it turns out to be, an estimated fifty percent of our citizens will be disturbed/upset, disappointed/angry, and more. How does the Lord want His followers to behave during the upcoming elections and beyond? BE KIND.

Confirmation of this message surprised me when Chuck Holton, a seasoned war correspondent, decided that there was a need to write a book on being prepared for a possible scenario like that which might happen in November. He warned about a lack of CIVILITY as he had seen in many other countries in times of crisis and political upheaval. I had never considered the word “civility” but it is defined as politeness and courtesy in behavior and speech, and treating others with dignity and respect. Civility comes from the Latin word civilis, meaning, “relating to public life, befitting a citizen,” e.g., being friendly and kind to everyone.

Historical fact: by age sixteen, George Washington had copied by hand “110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior,” as part of an exercise in penmanship assigned by his schoolmaster. We could learn a lot from these rules, especially about being kind. Consider this one: “Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop.” Another: “Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another though he were your enemy.” I definitely fail at this one: “When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them.” A good one: “Speak not injurious words neither in jest nor earnest; scoff at none although they give occasion.”

KIND in Hebrew

The word “kind” is found only once in the Tanakh (II Chron. 10:7) and is the Hebrew word tov, the same as the word for “good.” The principal word for being kind is kindness, חסד, (KHEH-sehd), found 250 times in the Tanakh and over 400 times in the entire Bible. Khesed is usually translated “mercy” in the New Covenant. In the Tanakh, it is translated as “lovingkindness.”

To be kind is to be selfless, compassionate, and merciful. The greatest power of kindness is revealed in practice to enemies and among those who are considered “least of these.” I was made aware of the tremendous power of being kind when the Lord gave me the honor and privilege of personally meeting one of the inmates (and his wife) who watched us for years on our Jewish Jewels television program. He somehow (God, I assume) found our personal home telephone number and reached me one Hanukkah while I was baking cookies in my kitchen. At our recent meeting, he told me that he was very moved by the fact that I spoke kindly to him that day in my kitchen as if he was a person of value. During that chat, he happened to express a need that we were able to meet, and that encounter changed his life. When he was released from prison five years ago, after 38 years of incarceration, he called to express his gratitude. One small act of kindness had made a huge difference in an inmate’s life (Matt. 25:35-45).

It is important, and God’s will, to be kind to everyone, regardless of age, race, or station in life. I love the story behind the KIND healthy snacks. Even though I have told it before, it bears repeating. Daniel Lubetzky’s grandfather was on the brink of execution during the Nazi occupation of Lithuania when the janitor of his apartment building intervened. “I let you live because you would talk to me like a decent person,” the janitor told him. Daniel now carries on his family’s legacy of kindness as the founder of KIND snacks, PeaceWorks, and the KIND Foundation. He has said, “Every day I recognize the power of kindness to change our world. I’ve never been so convinced that kindness is the essential antidote to the divisions and disconnection we’re seeing.” Be kind to the Amazon delivery person, the mail carrier, the truck driver, the maintenance person, the homeless man, even the little child. At my husband Neil’s memorial service, a mother approached me to tell me that her little girl was so impressed and touched when Rabbi Neil, many years ago, saw her carrying books and unable to open
the door. He rushed to open it—and hold it open—for her. She never forgot his act of kindness.

A KIND God

Kindness begins with God. Khesed is one of His primary qualities. God is love and His throne is established in kindness (Is. 16:5). His kindness is forever, and continues even in the face of man’s rebellion (Neh. 9:17). A few of the verses that extol God’s lovingkindness include: “For His merciful kindness is great toward us, and the truth of the Lord endures forever” (Ps. 117:2). “For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you…” (Is. 54:10a). “So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm” (Joel 2:13). “For you, Lord, are kind and ready to forgive, abounding in faithful love to all who call on you” (Psalm 86:5 CSB).

KIND Kids

On one of our many Mercy Missions to Israel, the director of a hospital in Haifa explained that their employees are trained in EQ. “Emotional Intelligence” as opposed to IQ, “Intelligence Quotient.” In a Jan. 2017 Parade Magazine article about emotionally intelligent kids, it said that strong social-emotional skills predict success better than IQ! The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation has a Kindness in the Classroom curriculum that has proven effective in combatting bullying and encouraging kindness. Our five-year old granddaughter Lucia has been kind since before she could talk. Her EQ is over the top. If you were to meet Lucia for the first time, and she saw a band-aid, scratch, or bruise on your body, she would gently approach you and ask if you are okay. “Does it hurt? I pray for you.” One day, when I picked Lucia up from Pre-K, I had a baggie of pistachios in my hand. I went to hand the bag to her in her car seat. She said, “Nana. Can I eat them all or should I save some for you?” That’s our Lucia. Always aware of the other person and their needs/feelings.

Kindness begins in childhood. It needs to be modeled. Marty Koelner, the principal of Sar Shalom, the temple school that my sons attended until high school, taught us all a wise question to ask before saying anything about a person: “Is it true?” “Is it kind?” “Is it necessary?” Perhaps your mother or father told you: “If you can’t say anything good (kind) about them, don’t say anything at all.”

KIND Thoughts

Proverbs 19:22 says, “What is desired in a man is kindness…” Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” Kind thoughts lead to kind deeds. A poem by Katherine Merrill, “The Heart’s Garden,” says it all: “The heart is a garden where thought flowers grow; the thoughts that we think are seeds that we sow. Every kind, loving thought bears a kind, loving deed; While a thought that is selfish is just like a weed. We must watch what we think each moment, all day; And pull out the weed thoughts and throw them away; And plant loving seed thoughts so thick in a row there will not be room for weed thoughts to grow.” Do our actions this month reveal to a world steeped in darkness that we have the mind of Messiah? (See Phil. 2 and I Cor. 2:16) Are we motivated by loving compassionate, kind thoughts? Do we reflect a kind God? Think on these things.

KIND Deeds

Kindness is an action. It is the right words, the right gestures, and the right deeds. It communicates God’s love sincerely and plainly. We see an example of kindness in the story of King Saul’s death. The men of Jabesh Gilead honored the king by giving him a proper burial. King David said to them, “…’You are blessed of the Lord, for you have shown this kindness to your lord, to Saul, and have buried him. And now may the Lord show kindness and truth to you. I also will repay you this kindness, because you have done this thing‘” (II Sam. 2:5-6). Kindness begets kindness.

Kindness in the Brit Hadashah is something we can “put on” by an act of the will. “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Messiah forgave you, so you also must do” (Col. 3:12-13).

Yeshua, the Messiah, taught His disciples to be kind—even to their enemies. “But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil” (Luke 6:35).

KIND Nation

The nation of Israel, especially since October 7, 2023, is often maligned and referred to as an “aggressor,” “evil,” “apartheid” nation. The truth is that Israel stands out among the nations for its kindness. I have seen, over the years, hundreds of examples of Israel treating its Arab enemies in its own hospitals. Just recently, I heard a report that the residents of the kibbutzim on the Gaza border had regularly used their own cars to transport Palestinian children with cancer to hospitals in Israel for treatment. These same Israelis were brutally massacred on October 7, 2023. This past year we have witnessed the I.D.F. sending thousands of messages to Palestinian civilians warning them of imminent attacks so that they might flee to safety. What other army does this act of kindness?

Ingrained in the Israeli soul is the Talmudic concept of gemilut hasadim, חסדים גמילות (geh-meh-LOOT khah-sah-DEEM), acts of lovingkindness. This includes the idea of treating someone like a human being, b’tselem Elohim אלהים בצלם (in the image of God), with the respect they deserve.

KIND Neighbor

We are all familiar with the second great commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” I remember the day that Neil and I, preparing to teach at a marriage retreat, read about an Orthodox marriage counselor who always emphasized to those he counseled that one’s closest “neighbor” was one’s spouse. Kindness begins in the home, among family. Husbands, are you kind to your wife? Wives, are you kind to your husband? How about to your children?

Consider these verses from the CSB version of the Bible: “A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel person brings ruin on himself” (Prov. 11:17). An exhortation to young women says, “to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered” (Titus 2:5).

What should we do if our neighbor is hurting? “To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty‘” (Job 6:14). “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification” (Rom. 15:2). “But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased” (Heb. 13:16).

KIND Messiah

Yeshua set the example for us to follow. Acts 10:38 tells us that He “…went about doing good [being kind] and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.” Yeshua reflected the kindness of God, His Father, who has raised us up together and made us sit in the heavenly places in the Messiah, “that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Messiah Yeshua” (Eph. 2:7). Again, it is due to God’s kindness, as manifested in His Son, that we can be forgiven of our sin. We are exhorted in Ephesians 4:32, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted,  forgiving one another, even as God in Messiah forgave you.”

Many of us, before we came to a saving knowledge of Yeshua the Messiah, were unkind and unloving. “For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Yeshua HaMashiach our Savior” (Titus 3:3-6).

Finally, in Yeshua, the True Vine, fruit grows as we abide in Him. Kindness is one of those fruits. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law” (Gal. 5:22-23). The fruit of kindness in Messiah is displayed when we give of ourselves in love and mercy to others who may not be able to give anything back, may not deserve kindness, nor thank us for it. But God smiles when we are kind to one another.

KIND Words

I saved this for last because kind speech is perhaps the most difficult aspect of kindness. Of course, we know the truth about the things we say: “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man” (Matt. 15:18). However, we can exercise the fruit of the Spirit which is self-control and ask the Ruach HaKodesh to help us control our tongue—since we alone can’t tame it (James 3:8).

The Bible has a lot to say about kind words. Consider Proverbs 31:26, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Law of kindness in Hebrew is torat khesed תורת חסד (toh-RAUT KHEH-sehd). Ladies, may we embrace this as our goal, with the help of the Ruach!

I have enjoyed a book by a traditional rabbi, Joseph Telushkin, Words that Hurt, Words that Heal with the subtitle, “How to Choose Words Wisely and Well.” The book begins with a verse from the Bible: “Who is the person who is eager for life, who desires years of good fortune? Guard your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from deceitful speech.” (Ps. 34:12) There is actually a well-known phrase in traditional Judaism concerning our speech. Lashon Hara, לשון הרעה (l’SHONE hah-RAH), literally means “the evil tongue.” Speaking unkind, unloving words. In his introduction, the rabbi explains that in his decade-long lectures around the country, he has asked his listeners if they can go for twenty-four hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, anybody. What do you think? “No” is the answer of the majority. Then he makes the analogy to not being able to go for twenty-four hours without liquor (you would be an alcoholic) or without smoking a cigarette (you would be addicted to nicotine). The rabbi continues, “Similarly, if you can’t go for twenty-four hours without saying unkind words about others, then you’ve lost control over your tongue.”

Unkind words hurt, humiliate, wound, and can have long-lasting consequences. The child told by an angry parent such unkind things as, “I wish you were never born.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “You’re pathetic. You can’t do anything right” has suffered abuse that only inner healing through our loving Messiah can make null and void.

The Messiah Yeshua rebuked the Pharisees for their evil speech, emphasizing that for every idle word men speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment (Matt. 12:34-36). “‘For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned‘” (Matt. 12:37).

Let our words be kind! A good summary is found in Ephesians 4:29-32 (NLT), “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Messiah has forgiven you.”

Dear KIND, Heavenly Father, please help us to be more like You, to be more sensitive and aware of the hurting people around us, and to realize that everyone we meet is fighting some kind of battle. Fill us with Your love and compassion. We want the fruit of KINDNESS to grow in our lives and the law of KINDNESS to be on our lips. In Yeshua’s Name, Amen.